Five “Not This . . . But That” Parallelism Problems

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Just as “not only . . . but also” constructions often stymie writers , similar syntactical phrasing can be difficult to form correctly.

1. “The movie achieves its effects, not by threatening to show you something hideous, but by getting under your skin and into your head.”
This sentence constructs the comparative phrases (“not by [this] but by [that]”) correctly, but the internal punctuation is superfluous: “The movie achieves its effects not by threatening to show you something hideous but by getting under your skin and into your head.”

2. “I caution her not to rely so heavily on what she thinks others would do, but on her own intuition.”
Because the verb rely applies to both comparative phrases, as achieves does in the first example, both the phrase beginning with not and the one beginning with but should follow the verb; the phrase describing the recommended strategy should also be revised to more thoroughly parallel the description of the person’s original approach: “I caution her to rely not so heavily on what she thinks others would do but to depend, rather, on her intuition.”

3. “He films it in a way that doesn’t suggest good taste, but colossal presumption and delusion.”
This sentence has the same error of parallelism as the preceding one; the verb suggest should precede both the not phrase (here, its beginning is disguised as doesn’t) and the but phrase: “He films it in a way that suggests not good taste but colossal presumption and delusion.”

4. “But the story here is not one of privacy infringement so much as the way real estate is changing because of technology.”
The comparative phrasing here is incomplete; a repetition of is within a mirroring verb phrase must be inserted before the concluding phrase: “But the story here is not one of privacy infringement so much as it is the way real estate is changing because of technology.”

5. “They accomplished this task both by utilizing the built-in transformation tools and creating their own.”
Both is correctly positioned only if by is repeated before the verb in the second part of the compound phrase: “They accomplished this task both by utilizing the built-in transformation tools and by creating their own.” Otherwise, both should switch places with by: “They accomplished this task by both utilizing the built-in transformation tools and creating their own.”

Five Parallelism Problems in In-Line Lists

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Constructing an in-line list — a series of items in a sentence — seems like a straightforward task, but writers frequently err in their attempts to produce parallel structure. The following sentences illustrate some of the pitfalls of parallel construction and how to fix them.

1. “You can pay using your bank account, debit, or credit cards.”
This list refers to two types of financial resources: a bank account and a card (two types of which are mentioned). The sentence structure mistakenly suggests that the list consists of three elements, rather than two (“your bank account” and “a debit or credit card”), one of which is a compound item — one consisting of two or more nouns or noun phrases. The following revision reflects the correct organization: “You can pay using your bank account or a debit or credit card.”

2. “Her writing was accurate, complete, and demonstrated attention to detail.”
Of the three items in this list, two are accompanied by verbs, but the writer has erroneously assumed that complete can share the verb that precedes accurate. It can do so, but only if accurate and complete are linked with a conjunction rather than separated by a comma: “Her writing was accurate and complete and demonstrated attention to detail.”

3. “It’s free, secure, and takes no time at all.”
This sentence suffers from the same slight but clumsy error as the one in the preceding example. It can be solved in the same way (“It’s free and secure, and it takes no time at all”) — a comma is required before the conjunction in this case because the pronoun’s presence makes the second clause an independent one. Alternatively, each item in the list can be assigned its own pronoun: “It’s free, it’s secure, and it takes no time at all.”

4. “The pension system divested in firms doing business with apartheid-era South Africa, avoided oil and energy investments in Iran, and it dropped tobacco companies from its portfolio in 2008.”
Here, too, the problem is of inconsistency of structure, but because the subject is a noun and the sentence is more complex, the simple error might not be apparent. Basically, each segment of the sentence needs a subject noun or a pronoun as if it were a distinct sentence, or, better, all segments must share the subject: “The pension system divested in firms doing business with apartheid-era South Africa, avoided oil and energy investments in Iran, and dropped tobacco companies from its portfolio in 2008.” (Alternatively, the comma following Africa could be replaced by and, but the lengthy sentence is better served by a rest-stop comma rather than another move-along conjunction.)

5. “There’s the Coke bottle and the old glove and sailboats gliding along the bay.”
This sentence (referring to iconic features at a baseball stadium) almost works in its relaxed state, unhindered by internal punctuation. But the lack of a comma suggests that all three things glide along the bay. A comma after “old glove” will catch that noun phrase and the preceding one, reserving the gliding action for the sailboats alone: “There’s the Coke bottle and the old glove, and sailboats gliding along the bay.”

Five Parallelism Problems in Sentence Structure

It’s easy to produce a faultily constructed sentence by neglecting to install all the necessary parts. Each of the sentences below lacks a small but essential component that helps render the statement sturdy and structurally sound; read each discussion for an explanation of the flaw.

1. ‘Lifelong interest and enthusiasm for science is instilled through science literacy.’
Take the phrase ‘and enthusiasm’ out of the sentence, and you’re left with ‘Lifelong interest for science is instilled through science literacy.’ Here, the subject is followed by the wrong preposition. Omit ‘and enthusiasm for,’ and the result is ‘Lifelong interest science is instilled through science literacy.’ Now, the subject lacks any preposition. The solution? Each noun in the noun phrase ‘interest and enthusiasm’ requires its own appropriate preposition: ‘Lifelong interest in and enthusiasm for science is instilled through science literacy.’ (Depending on emphasis desired, ‘and enthusiasm for’ may be bracketed by a pair of commas, parentheses, or em-dashes but is correct without any interruptive signals.)

2. ‘They’re noisy, they’re tiny, weigh fifty pounds, and can be souped up from a speed of thirty-five miles per hour.’
Of the four elements in this list, two are preceded by pronouns and two aren’t. To achieve parallel compliance, all the elements must share one pronoun (‘They’re noisy, tiny, weigh fifty pounds, and can be souped up from a speed of thirty-five miles per hour’), or each requires its own (‘They’re noisy, they’re tiny, they weigh fifty pounds, and they can be souped up from a speed of thirty-five miles per hour’).

3. ‘They run farther, longer, and never get fat.’
The first two elements share a verb, and the third has its own. However, just as in the apportionment of pronouns in the example above, one verb must apply to all, or each element must have its own verb (especially if a single verb is not appropriate for all the elements).

In this case, the verbs must differ. Depending on the context, either revise the sentence so that farther and longer share the verb run (‘They run farther and longer and never get fat’), or provide longer with its own verb (‘They run farther, last longer, and never get fat’).

4. ‘John Smith is off the streets, sober, and has a job.’
The rule set forth in the previous sentence applies for simple ‘to-be’ verbs as well. Revise the sentence to read, ‘John Smith is off the streets, is sober, and has a job’ or ‘John Smith is off the streets and sober and has a job.’

5. ‘That opinion was uttered not by John Doe, but one of his vice presidents.’
The preposition by must be repeated at the head of the second clause to match the structure of the first clause: ‘That opinion was uttered not by John Doe, but by one of his vice presidents.’ The sentence could be recast in active voice (‘One of John Doe’s vice presidents, not Doe himself, uttered that opinion’), but the change doesn’t necessarily improve the statement.